Marmaduke: Review
Marmaduke! Or.... Some Kind Of Wonderful without Lea Thompson and lotso lotso CG dogs.
So I'm lining up at the cinema to buy my ticket right, and the second I told the ticket guy, I wanna see Marmaduke.. He gave me that kind of look that I haven't seen since I was in high school. Let me tell you something, there were about 7 people in the theater and with the exception of me, the rest were all little children. I felt like a fucking pedophile in there. I had to keep telling myself, "This is for the review.. this is for the review..."
So Marmaduke is about an unnaturally large dog who moves with his human family to a new neighborhood and has to fit in the new high school there, i.e the playground. There he gets beat up by the school bully who happens to be dating the girl he likes and after an hour of lameness, he realizes that it's his best friend that he's really in love with all along.
Owen Wilson is the voice for Marmaduke and he does do a nice job in this but dude.. you totally picked the wrong script to make a comeback on after your attempted suicide. I wouldn't be surprised if Owen Wilson tries to kill himself again after watching this piece of shit.
This show hits every bottom rung of comedy there is. I have officially lost all the respect I used to have for William H. Macy. At one point in his life, this man was in movies like Fargo, Magnolia and The Cooler. Now, he's getting knocked over and being kicked in the balls by CG animated dogs for brainless kids to laugh at. Now I know where broken actors go to die.
Marmaduke is something that should have gone straight to DVD release. There is absolutely nothing that could draw in people to watch this other than the fact that there are a lot of celebrity voice actors in this, who don't even do a good job.And I also get the feeling that 20th Century Fox also didn't give a shit about this movie, otherwise they wouldn't have dumped it on the same weekend Toy Story 3 was released.
There is absolutely nothing in this film that can make me like it. My brain was literally telling my hands to dig their nails into the seat to prevent the rest of my body from running out of the theater on pure instinct. I just kept saying, "You paid RM11 for this.. you paid RM11 for this.. it's going to be over soon. You can do this Nicholas, just a few more minutes and then you can go.. Just hang in there buddy." But then it got to the ending and I swear my brain died. Three words. CGI. Dogs. Breakdancing.
But I do understand that this movie was intended for children. Clearly Marmaduke was not made to entertain anyone above the age of 7. But for God sakes...to all the parents out there.. Do you really want your children to watch this and grow up mentally retarded?RATING: 0/10
Marmaduke: Review
Marmaduke! Or.... Some Kind Of Wonderful without Lea Thompson and lotso lotso CG dogs. So I'm lining up at the cinema to buy my ticket right, and the second I told the ticket guy, I wanna see Marmaduke.. He gave me that kind of look that I haven't seen since I was in high school. Let me tell you something, there were about 7 people in the theater and with the exception of me, the rest were all little children. I felt like a fucking pedophile in there. I had to keep telling myself, "This is for the review.. this is for the review..."So Marmaduke is about an unnaturally large dog who moves with his human family to a new neighborhood and has to fit in the new high school there, i.e the playground. There he gets beat up by the school bully who happens to be dating the girl he likes and after an hour of lameness, he realizes that it's his best friend that he's really in love with all along.Owen Wilson is the voice for Marmaduke and he does do a nice job in this but dude.. you totally picked the wrong script to make a comeback on after your attempted suicide. I wouldn't be surprised if Owen Wilson tries to kill himself again after watching this piece of shit.This show hits every bottom rung of comedy there is. I have officially lost all the respect I used to have for William H. Macy. At one point in his life, this man was in movies like Fargo, Magnolia and The Cooler. Now, he's getting knocked over and being kicked in the balls by CG animated dogs for brainless kids to laugh at. Now I know where broken actors go to die.Marmaduke is something that should have gone straight to DVD release. There is absolutely nothing that could draw in people to watch this other than the fact that there are a lot of celebrity voice actors in this, who don't even do a good job.And I also get the feeling that 20th Century Fox also didn't give a shit about this movie, otherwise they wouldn't have dumped it on the same weekend Toy Story 3 was released.There is absolutely nothing in this film that can make me like it. My brain was literally telling my hands to dig their nails into the seat to prevent the rest of my body from running out of the theater on pure instinct. I just kept saying, "You paid RM11 for this.. you paid RM11 for this.. it's going to be over soon. You can do this Nicholas, just a few more minutes and then you can go.. Just hang in there buddy." But then it got to the ending and I swear my brain died. Three words. CGI. Dogs. Breakdancing.But I do understand that this movie was intended for children. Clearly Marmaduke was not made to entertain anyone above the age of 7. But for God sakes...to all the parents out there.. Do you really want your children to watch this and grow up mentally retarded?RATING: 0/10
Sex and the City 2: Review
I hate these bitches. It made me sick to my stomach watching these superficial female characters indulge themselves in superficial luxury; giving regular woman watching the film unrealistic delusions of grandeur.
The film centers on the four main characters at a turning point in their lives. They're basically getting bored with their daily routines and shit. Yeah like people will ever get bored living in luxury in NYC. So anyway, by a looong stretch, Samantha runs into an old boyfriend who's doing a movie and she meets the film's financier who invites her and her friends to a vacation in Abu Dhabi. The rest is pure, senseless woman porn.
Seriously. So I'm watching this movie right.. and the only thing I keep thinking of is how mindless the grounds this whole movie is based on. But as much as this film made no sense and had 3 very horrible women as main characters, women somehow still seem to like this film. Why girls? WHY?!
Now I've never watched Sex and the City when it had it's run on HBO but I did follow the plot line long enough to know who the 4 characters are and what they are like. And out of the 4, 3 of them were the most materialistic, selfish, megalomaniac perversion of female integrity I have ever seen. These women are horrible, horrible people. 
The second these women land in the Middle East, Sex and the City stop being a movie for me and more of an insulting piece of American racist stereotype shit on the cinema screen. I mean these women go over to a region of the world that has suffered so much war and exploitation from America and literally spit in their faces. They make fun of their culture, ridicule the way people dress there as being crimes of fashion, belittle Arab women and try to pass all this off as a feminist message.
We have Samantha's character being a whiny brat in front of the Arab police going, "Oh you guys are sexists! Women should be free to flash their titties and wear ridiculous Lady Gaga costumes and fuck whoever they want!" Sex and the City 2 really shows how ignorant and self-glorifying Americans can be. They even have a scene where the SATC girls are walking through the desert and comes across a bunch of women in abayah's and seconds later, these Arab women starts stripping to reveal Gucci, Valentino and Michael Korrs and dancing to trash European club music in the middle of the fucking desert, screaming "We love America!" And I'm not making any of this shit up.
The big problem why this movie and the movie before it failed so hard is because they are in a much longer format than the 30 minute show. These characters just aren't designed to sustain a plot longer than 30 minutes. Cause we realize the more time we spend with them, the more they seem like cold, materialistic, heartless bitches. And the way this film was written certainly didn't help ease the brain aneurysm I was experiencing in the cinema.
But this film did have it's redeeming moment. Two moments actually. Where the original maturity of Sex and the City came back. Mainly with Charlotte who is the only female character who is acting like an adult. There is a scene with her and Cynthia Nixon's character talking about motherhood which I felt was really great. Another scene was one with Chris Noth who comes in and totally owns Sarah Jessica Parker's brat character by simply saying, "How do I handle you? Well.. I'm an adult." And I was like, "GHEAAAH!!"
But seriously, avoid this shit like H1N1. It's a racist, unfunny, boring, mindless version of Twilight for delusional women who've hit menopause.RATING: 2/10
Sex and the City 2: Review
I hate these bitches. It made me sick to my stomach watching these superficial female characters indulge themselves in superficial luxury; giving regular woman watching the film unrealistic delusions of grandeur.The film centers on the four main characters at a turning point in their lives. They're basically getting bored with their daily routines and shit. Yeah like people will ever get bored living in luxury in NYC. So anyway, by a looong stretch, Samantha runs into an old boyfriend who's doing a movie and she meets the film's financier who invites her and her friends to a vacation in Abu Dhabi. The rest is pure, senseless woman porn.Seriously. So I'm watching this movie right.. and the only thing I keep thinking of is how mindless the grounds this whole movie is based on. But as much as this film made no sense and had 3 very horrible women as main characters, women somehow still seem to like this film. Why girls? WHY?!Now I've never watched Sex and the City when it had it's run on HBO but I did follow the plot line long enough to know who the 4 characters are and what they are like. And out of the 4, 3 of them were the most materialistic, selfish, megalomaniac perversion of female integrity I have ever seen. These women are horrible, horrible people. The second these women land in the Middle East, Sex and the City stop being a movie for me and more of an insulting piece of American racist stereotype shit on the cinema screen. I mean these women go over to a region of the world that has suffered so much war and exploitation from America and literally spit in their faces. They make fun of their culture, ridicule the way people dress there as being crimes of fashion, belittle Arab women and try to pass all this off as a feminist message.We have Samantha's character being a whiny brat in front of the Arab police going, "Oh you guys are sexists! Women should be free to flash their titties and wear ridiculous Lady Gaga costumes and fuck whoever they want!" Sex and the City 2 really shows how ignorant and self-glorifying Americans can be. They even have a scene where the SATC girls are walking through the desert and comes across a bunch of women in abayah's and seconds later, these Arab women starts stripping to reveal Gucci, Valentino and Michael Korrs and dancing to trash European club music in the middle of the fucking desert, screaming "We love America!" And I'm not making any of this shit up.The big problem why this movie and the movie before it failed so hard is because they are in a much longer format than the 30 minute show. These characters just aren't designed to sustain a plot longer than 30 minutes. Cause we realize the more time we spend with them, the more they seem like cold, materialistic, heartless bitches. And the way this film was written certainly didn't help ease the brain aneurysm I was experiencing in the cinema.But this film did have it's redeeming moment. Two moments actually. Where the original maturity of Sex and the City came back. Mainly with Charlotte who is the only female character who is acting like an adult. There is a scene with her and Cynthia Nixon's character talking about motherhood which I felt was really great. Another scene was one with Chris Noth who comes in and totally owns Sarah Jessica Parker's brat character by simply saying, "How do I handle you? Well.. I'm an adult." And I was like, "GHEAAAH!!"But seriously, avoid this shit like H1N1. It's a racist, unfunny, boring, mindless version of Twilight for delusional women who've hit menopause.RATING: 2/10
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